Mother’s Day is a special day to recognize the hardworking mother figures who help provide comfort and support in the lives and homes of families. When a death of a family member occurs, it changes the dynamics of a household, and the family may struggle to create a “new normal” in their daily lives. With the death of a motherly figure, the remaining family members mourn the loss of their loved one, while having to choose how to remember her on special days and holidays, such as Mother’s Day. This time of year may cause a mix of emotions for children, partners, and surviving family members. This day can be difficult on the children who have had a mother die, as well as for mothers who have experienced the death of a child. While Mother’s Day may be difficult for some grieving hearts, this holiday can be an opportunity to honor loved ones.
There is no right or wrong way to prepare and proceed through a holiday when remembering a loved one. The best thing to do is what is best for you, your children, and your family. If that means looking at old pictures of mom, discussing favorite memories, eating mom’s favorite food, watching mom’s favorite movie as a family, or visiting the grave-site or location the cremains were spread; it is important to allow your family to grieve and remember mom in the way that promotes healing among every individual, as well as the familial unit.
Sometimes, the days leading up to the special days and holidays are the hardest. Taking a moment to become self-aware and listening to what you need to do to feel comfort and to nurture yourself will guide you on how to combat the stressors with the days surrounding Mother’s Day.
Grief comes in waves, and some days will be easier than others. All you can do to prepare is provide yourself with the necessary self-compassion and love to get through each day. As Mother’s Day approaches, listen to your grieving heart. On that day and the days leading up, nobody can tell you what is best to do for your grief. Your grief is unique, and you will know what steps to take to find the comfort needed to survive those days.